My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Randomize
