I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize
