were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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