she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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