I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize