i just google imaged poop.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
