Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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