Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
