WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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