I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize