i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
