guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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