i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize