Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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