Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize