im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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