Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
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