We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Will exercising make me less horny?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
