He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
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