Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
