If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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