try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
