Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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