Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Randomize
