is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
