How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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