I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
