My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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