she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
