Barsexuality is the new black.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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