her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
