just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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