Define "chronic" masturbator.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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