It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize