butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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