one two three fourrrrnication!
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
