so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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