He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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