i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
