"it" just moved
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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