Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
