I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
