whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize