my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
