Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize