we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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