Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
