What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
