sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
