it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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