his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
