What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
