Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
