I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize