hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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