And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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