Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
