Please, let me fuck your mom
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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