problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
